In a now-viral post, a mother said her daughter is currently in a relationship with her son’s “first love.”
Posting in Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) forum under the username u/AITAsonsfirstgf, the mother said her son is upset by the relationship, but she feels he needs to “grow up and get over it.” The post has garnered over 7,500 upvotes and hundreds of comments from Redditors who agree that her son’s feelings are “ridiculous.”
Some psychologists say that, due to various chemical and neurological reasons, first loves are hard to forget.
“Some of the same neurotransmitters that are triggered in other addictions are also activated when we are in love such as endorphins, dopamine and serotonin,” Dr. Robin Buckley told Bustle.
“Much like an addict’s first high from a gambling win…we want to re-experience that ‘first time’ again. This is one reason [why] forgetting a first love is difficult. Our brains remember the neurochemical ‘high’ associated with it and want that experience back,” Buckley said.
Joseph Bordelon, a licensed counselor, also said first loves leave an “imprint” on the brain.
“Your first love is hard to forget because it leaves an ‘imprint’ on the sensory areas of your brain,” Bordelon told Bustle. “Memories during your adolescent years leave hormonal imprints at the same time as your neurological developments are forming your identity.”
Though first loves may be hard to forget, Buckley says it’s both possible and beneficial for people to “move on” from them.
“This is where you are now,” Buckley said. “Only you can make the decision to stay here and move into your future, rather than regressing into your past.”
Unfortunately, it seems as though u/AITAsonsfirstgf’s son is struggling to learn this lesson.
At the beginning of her post, u/AITAsonsfirstgf said her son Adam, 26, dated Jenna when they were both 11. The two ultimately broke up after five months because Jenna “didn’t like kissing” Adam, but he “got over it quickly.”
Now, Adam is married to someone else, and his sister Lila is dating Jenna.
“Lila is in love. She’s been open about being a lesbian since she was a freshman in high school, but she never showed much interest in anyone before Jenna. I am so happy to finally see her satisfied with that aspect of her life,” u/AITAsonsfirstgf said.
Adam, on the other hand, thinks the relationship is “weird” and has called Lila a “backstabber” and a “whore.”
His main arguments are that [the relationship is] tainting the memory of his first love and that Jenna hurt him when she broke up with him,” u/AITAsonsfirstgf said, adding that she’s “just about had enough” of Adam’s attitude.
“He’s a married man…I could understand if it were a serious relationship, even high school would be different. But they were…children then. How could it possibly matter still?” she continued.
u/AITAsonsfirstgf told Adam that she would limit her contact with him if he didn’t grow up. In response, Adam accused his mother of “choosing Lila” over him.
“But I don’t see it that way; I think I am choosing to protect my own sanity, not choosing between my children,” u/AITAsonsfirstgf concluded. “AITA?”
Redditors said u/AITAsonsfirstgf did nothing wrong by confronting Adam and agreed that he needs to grow up.
“NTA [not the a**hole]. While I understand that this could be weird for Adam…you are right, he needs to get over it. He is grown and married,” showmethegreen said.
“NTA, your son DOES need to grow up, and you were right to tell him that…It’s totally unreasonable for him to get mad at his sister for falling in love with a girl he dated when he was a literal child,” u/Sklibba wrote.
u/Corpuscular_Ocelot added: “I am usually [pro]’Just stay away from exes of friends and family,’ but he was 11. He is being ridiculous.”
Newsweek has reached out to u/AITAsonsfirstgf for comment.
Other Viral Posts
Posting to Reddit on Tuesday, a woman said she told her “jealous” sister that she hopes she “never has kids.”
On Wednesday, a woman said she embarrassed a co-worker after she caught said co-worker flirting with her husband.
And on Thursday, a woman went viral after sharing that she dumped her boyfriend over a “weird and embarrassing” comment he made.